by Christine Caine

I woke up excited. Today was a new day, and yesterday’s crazy attempt to accomplish my to-do list was long behind me. I knew things were looking up as I woke before my alarm went off, and I was actually able to take a shower before the girls got out of bed (which is more than I could say about the day before). I could just sense today was the day I would cross off all the tasks on my to-do list, and really, it had to be because there was so much I needed to do before I hit the road again. Granted, I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to check every single item off my list—at least not since my girls were born—but being the eternal optimist, today was going to be “that” day!

I had every detail flawlessly mapped out. My workout clothes were already in the car so I could stop by the gym on the way home from driving Catie and Sophia to school and preschool (check). Catie’s lunch was made and bagged, along with a special birthday gift for her teacher. Catie had told me how her teacher loved caramel apples, so I had bought some from the best place in town (check, check). We had a staff meeting scheduled over lunch to strategize the next few months for the ministry, and then my plan was to squeeze in a little writing just before picking up the girls and driving home to cook dinner for the family. I had already gotten the groceries I needed to make supper (check), and while out, I had also happened to find a fun little nightgown to surprise my hubby at the end of the evening. That was going to be worth at least 15 checks!

Finally, my dream day was going to happen, and I was going to have it all. I had already succeeded in waking up on time and showering … nothing could stop me now! Today, I’d be Martha Stewart in the home, Arnold Schwarzenegger at the gym, Richard Branson at the office, Billy Graham in the ministry, Jane Austen at the computer, and lover extraordinaire in the bedroom. All that was left to do was to step out of my bedroom and begin my day.

First, the zipper on Catie’s school pants broke and all her other pairs were in the laundry. Do I have a sewing kit? Wait a minute, who am I kidding ... do I even know how to work a needle and thread? She would simply have to wear a skirt. Then, on the way to school, I was informed we were supposed to bring plates and napkins for the teacher’s birthday party. We were already running late, thanks to the zipper incident, but I managed to speed across three lanes of traffic to an exit close to a grocery store, run in to buy the party necessities, and still get everyone to school in one piece.

The gym was packed, but I got in a pretty intense and sweaty workout before the electricity freakishly went out. Of course, this prevented me from washing and freshening up before my staff meeting. Oh well, they’ve seen me without makeup before … no big deal. On my way to the office, traffic was at a standstill because of the random power outage, which caused me to be extremely late to the lunch meeting, so I skipped eating. The schedule was now way behind, so I didn’t have time to write, which was probably a good thing because after a hard workout and no food, my brain was a bit fuzzy.

The rest of my afternoon was a whirlwind of activity: Firstly, I navigated massive amounts of traffic to pick the girls up from their respective schools. Catie expressed her teacher’s extreme surprise at my gift—had the teacher forgotten she told me about her caramel apple fetish? Next, helped the girls with their homework while simultaneously burning dinner. Tried to substitute the charred mess with leftovers—on closer inspection discovered they should have been thrown out days ago. Consequently, phoned Nick to pick up some take-out food. Lastly, I slipped into the bathtub whilst trying to give the girls their baths. Thank God Nick offered to put them to bed so I could have a moment of quiet before bedtime. I eagerly accepted and then collapsed into bed.

What in the world had gone wrong? I thought. I had such high hopes that this day would be one where I would finally be able to do it all without having a partial mental breakdown! I couldn’t decide whether to laugh, cry, or throw something at the wall, and then I remembered … I still had that fun little nightgown to surprise Nick! Today didn’t have to be a complete loss; maybe I could still be lover extraordinaire! I ran to the kitchen to grab the little bag holding my special purchase, whisked back to the bedroom, opened up the bag and pulled out ... a pair of neatly wrapped caramel apples! No wonder Catie’s teacher was so surprised!

It occurred to me in that one instant: perhaps my concept of “doing it all” was all wrong.

Okay, so this story is a little dramatic (only a bit), but most of us can in some way relate to this scenario. For years, we have been told we can have it all, be it all and do it all. So inevitably, we have aggressively set out on a pursuit to achieve this utopian “all.” We roll up our sleeves in true “Rosie the Riveter” style (to reveal our femininely chiseled arms, of course) and belt out the lyrics to “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar” in our best Helen Reddy voice. We get up an hour early to exercise, another hour earlier to pray, and a third hour is needed to get the kids ready and packed for school. We are consummate organizers, jugglers and problem solvers as we manage husbands, children, church commitments, friendships, finances, groceries, mealtimes, child taxi service, quiet time with God and whatever else is on the agenda. Then, at the end of the day we stay up an hour longer to ensure the house is tidy, an additional hour to read a chapter of the latest bestseller, and one more hour to ensure we spend “quality time” with our husband. It almost gets to the point that we should forego sleep altogether because the moment our head touches the pillow, it’s time to rise and shine.

We’ve set out on this mission to do it “all” only to quickly discover that in order to achieve it, we conservatively need an extra 24 hours in every day. The fact is that the pursuit of having and doing it all has left many women disappointed, discouraged, exhausted, defeated, anxious and stressed. Despite our sometimes superhuman exploits, we begin to question the pace and fullness of this “having and doing it all” life and whether or not we have all been sold a big lie. In our disillusionment, we can even begin to think there is no possible way we can manage a strong Christian walk, an amazing marriage, great kids, a fulfilling sex life, fantastic friends and pursuing our God-given purpose.

The truth is, you can have it all, and you can do it all … but often it’s an incorrect perception of what the “all” is that can leave us feeling like we fall short. If we want to do this adventure called life well, and fulfill the purpose God has for our lives, we need to discover what His definition of the “all” is, and go after that. When I was a teenager, I really wanted to be a basketball player. Then reality hit: the statistical probability of a petite 5’2” girl making headlines because of her ability to slam-dunk a basketball was next to nothing. If I had chosen to ignore this fact and equated my “all” with being the next wnba superstar, I would have wasted a lot of years with a relatively futile pursuit. The point is that each one of us has a specific “all” created especially for us, and if we pursue only this, God in turn enables us to achieve it.

Having it all does not mean we can have anything we want, or that we can have everything simultaneously. Nor should the media, politicians, the feminist movement, culture, history, the latest talk show host, lifestyle magazines, tradition, the latest celebrity, or our flesh dictate our pursuits, dreams and goals to us. It should be the result of seeking first the kingdom of God.

In Matthew 6:33, Jesus says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” When it’s God who adds the “all” rather than us trying to strive for it on our own, we don’t have to be stressed, overworked or anxious about trying to keep something we cannot obtain on our own anyway. If we simply continue to put God first, He adds it to our life according to His perfect will and His perfect timing.

Similarly, the Bible teaches that there are certain things God has created for each one of us to do. The book of Ephesians says, “For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God pre-destined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].”

If we spend our lives doing the good works God predestined for us, we will always find enough time, energy and resources to do it all. On the other hand, if we try to walk in paths God has not prepared for us, doing works He has not set out for us, we will inevitably end up living stressed, unfulfilled, frustrated and disappointed.

The “all” we should want to have and do is tied in to God Himself and His purpose for our lives. If we seek Him first always and align our lives with the good works He has prepared for us, it is truly amazing how our crazy, full-to-overflowing lives seem to work.

God’s “all” for your life is right before you, ready to be seized, enjoyed, bring you tremendous fulfilment, and stretch you to your limits! You absolutely can have and do it all, and live the life you’ve dreamed of … if you understand that your “all” will be a journey of a lifetime, and that sometimes your “all” can shift and morph when you least expect it.