by Sarah Wronko

Nervously I drum my fingers across my computer mouse. I glance at the clock. 2:59 pm. One minute remains until peace is shattered, chaos ensues, the law of entropy kicks in … naptime will be over. With a million and one things left undone and laundry still piled high on the couch, I scowl at my computer monitor, my spaceship to the black hole of time. My toddler begins a high-pitched chant, “Mommy, Mommy,” while my infant tries to kick down the sideboards of her crib. Suddenly more tired than I felt 10 minutes ago, I push away from my computer, my temporary escape to another world. The time has come. Life is calling.

I ponder the day’s coming events, crisis management “opportunities” and dirty diapers, thinking all the while about the things I need to do but don’t have time to. At the end of many days, I find that there are so many priorities and desires left undone: my Bible study, the laundry, the book I wanted to finish, taking time to reach out to my neighbors, returning that phone call or simply just taking a bath. Where does my time go?

Most often, not having enough time or not understanding the importance of prioritizing our time can be the main cause of stress. According to Dr. James Dobson, one of the biggest obstacles facing families right now is a hectic schedule: “There is nothing that will destroy family life more insidiously than hectic schedules and busy lives, where spouses are too exhausted to communicate, too worn out to have sex, too fatigued to talk tothe kids. If Satan can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy, and that’s just about the same thing.” With all the demands of family, work, housekeeping and relationships, there can seemingly be a lack of time and energy to devote to life’s most important tasks.

When determining the causes of unwanted anxiety, unaccomplished priorities are often a key factor. Focusing on priorities and setting these priorities in order is essential to having a more peaceful and fulfilling life. But how do we shuffle through the noise and chaos of life and our daily demands?

Here’s a good place to start: Pull out a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle. In the left column, write down three to five things that need to get done each day, the non-negotiables. Number these priorities from most important to least. In the right column, write down three to five things you would enjoy accomplishing daily but aren’t necessarily non-negotiables. At the bottom of that same page, write down the things you actually do during your day (and be honest). If some of the items you listed as things that you actually do are already on your “have to” list, then great; cross them off. Then, look at your list of nonnegotiables and think about your day. Make a plan of where these will fit best in your day and stick to it! Next, look at your list of things you would like to accomplish in your day and arrange these based on order of importance. Now whenever you have extra time in the day and after you’ve taken care of your main priorities, you can refer to this list to help you allocate your remaining time.

In his book, Priorities: Take Control of Your Time, life coach Bill Mansell says, “Make your plan balanced and achievable. With your priorities and your plan in mind, frequently ask yourself: what is the best use of my time right now? Then do it. Most people never take the time to make this critical investment in themselves. As a result, they wander through life, unconsciously frittering away their valuable time on useless, meaningless activities.”

When you say yes to one thing, you usually have to say no to another. And saying no can often be difficult. Many times it’s just easier to give a thoughtless “yes” than it is to thoughtfully say “no.” But ask yourself this question: “Does this activity, meeting, tv show or time spent on the Internet fit into my goals or priorities for today?” If not, be empowered to say no to those things and say yes to those things that will bring you a sense of peace and gratification at the end of the day.

So back to me … here I sit at the end of my very long day. The kids are finally in bed and yes, I still do have “priorities” on my list, but Facebook is calling me. Choices, choices … suddenly I feel empowered to say that little word that will free me and allow me to take care of what I really must do. So I say it … “no.” Permission has been granted!